I recently took a visit to one of the most understated attractions here in Vancouver.

The  Dr. Sun Yat-Sen Classical Chinese Garden has been voted the world’s top city garden by National Geographic and is made up of a harmony of four main elements: rock, water, plants and architecture. These four elements combine perfectly to create a breathtaking experience of perfect balance; yin and yang.


The garden is astounding. The detail, the meaning, the history was all so enchanting. You completely forget you are in one of the most vibrant and characteristic parts of Vancouver. You escape to complete tranquility and bliss.

While there I came across a pond covered in lily pads and lotus flowers. I stood frozen in awe. My heart was beaming. The lotus flower has always intrigued me but this was the first time I’ve come face-to-face with them. The flower is  mystical, resilient and subtle.


The lotus flower symbolizes ultimate purity and perfection because it rises untainted and beautiful from the mud. It represents emptying and outward splendour and conveys the true nature of reality. The flower is associated with new beginnings, potential, patience, spiritual awakening and enlightenment. It is the picture of Renaissance; rising from adversity to a beautiful form.


That little flower floating on top of the water packs quite a punch if you ask me.

(I’m sensing a new tattoo idea!)


It’s funny the things you see in your surroundings that can spark such an internal dialogue. Since that visit, I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of rebirth and how life constantly presents us with the gift of reinventing ourselves over and over again. It is our challenge, or responsiblity rather, to see these as opportunities.

My life right now is in a state of transition. As someone who loves to have control, this transition shit is hard. But when life slows down and I take a minute to take stock, I think I’m making it harder than it has to be. Emotions, particularly fear and panic, can do funny things to you when it’s time to act. I’m trying so hard to laser focus on the next logical step that I think I’m missing this opportunity for reinvention.


I don’t have a clear vision of what I want for myself professionally and I struggle with that a lot, particularly in a society where we tend to identify ourselves by our career. The voice inside me who loves to have things cut and dry is innately hunting for that vision. Yet in my persistence for black or white , clear cut  direction; I’m drowning in the grey area. My soul has craved a transition for the last five years or so, is this where it begins?

Maybe I need to let go of the idea that this transition happens overnight and see this next period of my life as a rebirth. This is my opportunity to reinvent myself. To grow, to evolve, to change.

The concept of rebirth doesn’t have to mean something monumental overnight. The do-er in me wants it to be something I get done, tick it off the list and move on from. Resurgence, I’m (reluctantly) learning works on a different time frame. In other words: this shit takes time. Eye roll haha.


If doing the same thing over and over doesn’t fit, why do I persist on continuing the cycle?

Have I not learned the lesson yet?

Or have I missed my opportunity for change?


Who knows! As I’m letting the fear and panic settle, my curiosity for rebirth is staring to bubble to the surface. As for what the next few months, year, five years has in-store for me – I’m slowing letting go of the fact that I have little control over that. It certainly isn’t going to be a straight line to the finish. In fact, I don’t know if there is a finish or destination at all. I’m sure more opportunities, just like this, will pop up along the way.

Until then, I’m trying to enjoy the ride; however bumpy it might be.

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