After a few months hiatus, I’m ready to start writing again.
Life has been a rollercoaster of emotion and a flurry of activity and I’m finally ready to “out” what my next plan is.
My intense wanderlust isn’t a secret. And it isn’t a shocker to anyone who read my previous posts on New Zealand (you can find there here and here), that that magical place peaked my interest. In fact, I haven’t been able to get it off my mind for three years. It’s one of my favorite places on earth.
So, I’m putting my life in Vancouver on pause for a bit and heading to the South Pacific.
That trip a few years back changed me. It lit a flame inside me to move around, to get outside the box, to do something different, to get uncomfortable, to adventure. It has been smoldering inside me for a very long time. As much as I’ve tried to ignore it or to let it dim, it has only grown stronger. I want to see the world. I want to experience things new places. I’ve wanted this for a long time.
This trip is as much about adventure as it is about personal development. To explore the unexplored, the ignored or the unknown within. To find that thing I’ve been looking for that will light me up. I’ve been yearning for change for so long. Am I guaranteed to find what it is that I’m looking for? Absolutely not. But what I do know for certain is I won’t find it by doing the same thing I’ve been doing.
So here I am, just a few weeks out I’ve planned, I’ve agonized, and I continue to talk myself out of this 30 times a day.
Am I making a huge mistake?
Am I leaving behind something amazing?
Will it be there when I get back?
What the fuck am I doing?
Right now, I have more questions than answers. In fact, the only answer I have is: I have no idea. As someone who likes life lessons wrapped up in a neat little package, uncertainty scares the shit out of me. But ‘they’ say something great happens just outside of your comfort zone, right?
We avoid moving and acting without knowing. And because we cannot act on what we don’t know, our lives become incredibly repetitive and safe. . . .The ability to do things with no expectation for result or accolade or productivity or fanfare – will train you to better make these big ambiguous life decisions. It will train you to simply start on something without knowing where the hell it’s going. . . .And while this will result in a thousand tiny failures, it will also likely result in your life’s biggest successes.
– Mark Manson
Alas, I’m closing my eyes and taking the leap.